How many cave-ins, craters, and crannies does it take to turn a medical transport vehicle into a runaway Tilt-A-Whirl?
Turns out, just one.
I recently had the unfortunate occasion to accompany my cousin in an ambulance and let me tell you… the amount of ricocheting, boing-ing, bobbing, and violent jerking was mind-boggling. I’m convinced the vehicle’s suspension system was purely decorative. And keep in mind, I was just the passenger buckled into the side seat.
My poor cousin was subjected to all that jolting and bucking nonsense while strapped flat on a gurney, having already been wheelbarrowed out of her house with fractured this and thats.
That clunker, burning up the road on Lake Shore Drive, was nothing more than a heap of tin masquerading as an emergency transport.
YOUCH! WHOA! OOF! YIKES! HOLY SHIT! THAT REALLY HURT.
Sure, Chicago potholes are legendary, but there is simply no excuse for subjecting a patient to that kind of bouncing brutality under the guise of “medical care.”
Were we shouting, “WOOOOO-HOOO!”? Uh, no… it was more like,…
“Oh my God, we’re all gonna die!”
Was there an alternative? Well, she could have traveled seated in a wheelchair, except for the minor detail that she was:
physically
incapable
of
sitting
UPRIGHT.
HELLO??!!
Back in the day, if you went to Riverview Amusement Park and rode The Bobs, you expected sudden sharp turns, reverberating drops, and getting slammed side-to-side. But that was a choice…and one you actually paid ticket money to enjoy. This felt like a rogue amusement ride, only nobody offered us a souvenir key chain at the end.
Note to self : when a shady medical transport turns into an “unruly coaster”...
WTF.
~ featured image via Pinterest