I am flaxen-haired. Well… at least I used to be (<-click). I spent years, and a shitload of moolah, making sure it remained some version of blonde. Blonde, blonder, BLONDEST; a condition that all dyed in the wool, flaxen-haired, card-carrying ‘almost blondies’ are afflicted with. Furthermore, when my boobs kicked in at seventeen and remained obvious throughout […]
I’M A BLONDE – and other complications Read More »
There is a specific kind of magic that only happens when the lights go down, the chatter dies out, and the only thing left is the smell of buttered popcorn and the glow of an oversized screen. “The moment the lights go down is often the best part” — J.J. Abrams As those lights dim,
ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT Read More »
It’s that time again… time to welcome a new year after all the hoopla of champagne toasts, a sloshed Andy Cohen, and the always hilariously bad Chicago NYE TV. Pretty please be all shiny and new, filled with high hopes and optimism, possibility, and potential. HELLLOOOOOO 2026 – I am talking to YOU! Fingers crossed.
A 2025 Recap & 2026 Plea: (minus the ick) Read More »
Dearest 2024: as you are drawing to a close it would be ungracious of me not to let you know how keenly aware I am of your desperate attempts to turn things around these past twelve months. The joy was so close, but there was a whole lot of drama-la. Now it’ll be in the
GLITTER MAY BE OUR ONLY OPTION Read More »
What’s up with new year resolutions? Are they supposed to be aspirational or commitments we secretly know will be broken? I avoid them like the plague. Although I avoid the plague with a great deal more oomph. And I am certainly not commitment phobic, give me a break, I’ve been married for 45 years. Despite
HELLO 2024, LET’S DO THIS! Read More »
Buh-bye 2022. Hello gorgeous! THAT’S YOU 2023. Are you listening? I know you are oft depicted as a naked baby with a beauty queen sash, but please tell me you are a Mozart listening babe, able to read at a doctoral level and can brilliantly intuit the good guys from the bad. Are you a
I SAY GOODBYE AND I SAY HELLO Read More »
HAPPY CHANUKAH!! On second thought should I write Hanukkah? Maybe Hanukah? OR alternatively… Hannukah, Chanuka, Hanuka, Channukah, Chanukka, Hanukka, Hannuka, Hannukkah? Another option: Channukkah. That’s some cockamamie spelling. You think? For the record, CHANUKAH looks the right-est to me. We can agree to disagree. As far as Christmas goes (Xmas anyone?), we were not
OY, DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU? Read More »
As my 50th high school reunion was rapidly approaching I reluctantly read through the enthusiastic posts on the Facebook group thingy. “I’m counting down the days!”, “oooh can’t wait!”, “sounds like so much fun!”, “send your money in now!”. You want me to go to a FIFTIETH reunion? You can’t make me. Who do these people think
WHO INVITED THE OLD PEOPLE TO MY REUNION? Read More »
No lace, zero doodads, no shiny doohickeys, not a single pouf… Simple, simple, SIMPLE. That is what I announced as I headed into David’s Bridal along with my wedding frock wing-woman. My mom. The sales lady tried to keep her irritation hidden, but I could see what she was thinking, “you have got to be
WHOLLY MOLY MATRIMONY Read More »
A cool breeze flows through the open window. It wafts throughout the interior of the room as sultry rhythms make love to my ears. The seductive setting brings to light all the years and years of accumulated memories; provocative, familiar and abundant. Taking stock of the excess mementos, I tenderly put aside a few favored
