IT HIIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS

Doctors tell you the darnedest things.

When all we really want to hear is normal, negative, harmless, innocuous, benign and no biggie.

Recently my endocrinologist laid a BIIG one on me and though it had nothing to do with my thyroid she felt it worth mentioning.

If memory serves, I had just been making small talk (as one is wont to do while being interrogated by ones doctor) when something about my exercise routine (or lack thereof) happened to fly out of my mouth.

And my doc was more than ready to intervene. In fact, she was salivating.

As a result she began riffing off the state of my “regimen”.

While I admit it has been less than ideal as of late, my medical crackerjack had LOTS to say about the situation.

Don’t get me wrong, I welcome new and improved information. Especially when it comes to my health. But in this case, I should have said something like, “Oops, I’m late for another appointment.”

But noooooo, I had to respond with, “HIIT me with your best shot.”

You’ve most likely guessed that I am talking about HIIT. I had definitely heard of it but had no idea what it actually involved.

My doc enlightened me with much backed up research about the merits of this high intensity interval training. In particular for women in my age group and cough-cough perhaps yours too.

Here are the selling points:

• Improved cardiovascular health
• Enhanced bone density
• Boosted muscle retention
• Perked up cognitive functioning

What’s not to love?

My takeaway? Do it now. Start today. Don’t delay.

And, per my doc – do it till you think you are going to throw up. How’s that for a proposition?

Naturally I googled.

Here’s what the internet had to say about HIIT: “a training protocol alternating short periods of intense or explosive anaerobic exercise with brief recovery periods until the point of exhaustion.”

Just what the doctor ordered.

I eenie meenie miney mo-ed my way through YouTube – landing on a 30-minute version. Ready for action, I sat down and watched a preview of what to expect.

Kinda like the time I put on a yoga DVD and spent the next 45 minutes seated on the couch transfixed.

This time, confident I would be able to handle the 30 minutes, I pressed ➡️.

And so it began.

Starting with toe touches side to side, I thought … this is a piece of cake. Next came something called skaters, followed by squats, jumping jacks and mountain climbers. There were burpees and other such nonsense.

I was about to throw up.

My doc would be so proud.

But then the trainer uttered, “that was a great WARM-UP”.

To which I responded, “HIIT the road Jack!”, or something equally direct.

Allow me to sum up my first attempt. Drum roll. Made it through the warm-up and the first part of only the first circuit. I mean I was dying, like sprawled out on the floor dead.

Consequently I spent the remainder of the circuits listening and sweating and swearing, recovering just in time to hear, “thanks for joining me. I feel great and hope you do too”.

That’s when I sat up, eyed my iPad, and noticed that loads of people had LOTS to say beneath the video.

Never have I ever felt such validation.

Reading comment after comment was such a relief and I could not have written anything better than the following actual comments:

“I don’t even know if it’s tears or sweat that’s coming out of me”

“The only exercise I did right was REST”

“She’s really telling me to smile when I can see my life flashing before my eyes?”

“I’ve never been more thankful to be interrupted by an ad”

But this says it all: “I started this workout back in 2020, it’s now 2024, and I can finally finish the entire workout”

Four years later??! OMG. WTF. Hahahaha. OY.

Let’s just say the internet description needs an addendum. Something like, ‘exhaustion is just the tip of the iceberg and you might toss your cookies’.

Here’s the thing – aside from the cookie tossing and the near death experience, once resuscitated I must admit my endorphins were only too happy to respond. For real.

Therefore, I am going to give it a go. Will you join me? Have you ever done it? Do tell.

If I adhere to the schedule set by the commenter quoted above – 2028 should be the sweet spot.

So it seems.