THE WEIGHT OF ONE MEASLY FOUR-LETTER WORD

The other day I got to thinking about words consisting of just four little letters. I came up with many, and then some, words that are pleasing to the ear. Words like: hope and home, baby, hero, kind, dear, idea, epic, love, soul…. all imparting warm fuzzies and admiration.

Likewise, it only takes a quartet of letters plucked from the alphabet to form a wounding and unkind expression.

H A T E

Merely four characters… diminutive in quantity … itsy-bitsy in length … its entirety but a dribble …but WOW the weight it carries.

It was one of the words my parents put the kibosh on. The other was the ‘S-word’ (it’s not what you think). I wrote about that -> here.  

My use of the verboten H-word in the last few years has only intensified. It rolls off my tongue frequently and effortlessly. And if I am being honest, whether I’m casually and flippantly swinging around that word (as in: “I hate people”; ha-ha) or using it to articulate a point of view (as in: hating someone in particular) – it usually feels justified.

But oftentimes – strikes me as unappealing and graceless. And I hate that.

While imagining what my face does when uttering the word H A T E I’m aware that it ain’t pretty… not to mention what I invite into my physiologically detectable nerve endings. That can’t be purty either.

As a consequence, if my body is truly tuning in, I’m not being particularly thoughtful. And for that I apologize profusely to my innards. Don’t hate me my adorable internal nuts and bolts.

All the things that put me over the edge… like the current status of our world and people walking into me while glued to their phones… only serve to fill me with discordant energy reverberating through my flesh and bones and nerves and arteries and veins.

Even my capillaries must feel it. AND THAT CAN’T BE GOOD.

Where the heck did I put my rose-colored glasses?

I’m used to looking-on-the-bright-side and recall setting down those rosy peepers for what was supposed to be a brief looksee at the world ‘without’. But where are they now when I need them most?

I flashed back to the last time a pair went missing – unsurprisingly found situated atop my head.

This time, no such luck.

“I’d like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony…” (a girl can dream)

Feeling the weight of the world the last few years sure feels shitty. Well… more than shitty. And I happen to hate the superabundance of shitty-ness we are crawling in.

You too? Is there a four-letter word that feels less deplorable? Does bane of one’s life sound better? Or how about vile?

SICK,

MEAN,

FOUL,

EVIL?????

How about this one: Snollygoster (snol-ee-gos-ter). A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician. Ain’t it swell?? I know, I know, it’s not four letters – but it sure is fun to say.

Imagine your scrunched up face, furrowed brow and curled lips declaring, “you are nothing but a SNOLLYGOSTER!“

Just okay? I see your point.

It’s not as good as that other four-letter word. The one I never used to say until fairly recently. The one everyone seems to be spouting… it’s on coffee cups and t-shirts, I’ve spied it on jewelry and memes, read it in countless texts and been voiced on many a phone call.

Per Mr. Carlin, those four letters have a balanced duality, while that no-account hate word simply exists to cause much havoc to both ourselves and others. Whether blurted out, blasted on social media or simply harbored in one’s mind… complete and utter havoc.

In spite of the fact that I’ve been mouthing off that h-word much too frequently lately, I assure you I am still more partial to this one…

HOPE.

Without hope, how can get we get behind lovely and resilient words like: safe, kind and calm, or grit, fire and will? What about awed, bold, lead, zest… life, soul, and love. You know, the fundamentally human stuff.

And yet. Ughhhhhhh.

I need a hug.

Suffice it to say…

… I need a HUGE F-ING hug.

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